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I'm Dalton Lim Jun Jie and welcome to my blog. All pictures were taken by me unless stated otherwise. Content are also written by me. Contents may offend but do feel free to leave. Leave a tag if you like it. Cheers

I know that i promise not to have anymore post here but to have all my post in the new site but i just want you to know that i still remember what day it was 2 days back. It was the first day that we meet. I don't know if you still remember but i do. I still think of you every now and then but I don't know if we have gone to far to ever turn back. I've taken any effort to woo you back cos i want you to be happy rather then pulling you back to your life of misery with me. Be happy with whatever you path you choose just know that you must not have any regrets. All the best in your in your journey through life. ok i guess thats all I've got to tell you. Bye
200th post
This is my 200th post but there isn't any i would like to share other than this blog site has officially close and that i've started a new blog but not done up completely yet. Now that the time has come i will leave out all those wanted memories but always keep those i treasure in my heart. I will miss you i hope you miss me too. Hope to see you doing well in your tourism course that you're gonna take soon. I will bring all the good memories to my grave. The time you puked on my bed. The time we took 36 round and round. All the movies we watched, the one with the movie marathon was the best. The times we cooked together. The nights we spent together. The stars we gazed. And much more just too many to say out. Like the fun times we had he had an equal share of bad times we qurreled. I still remember you slapped me ... haha really funny i actually wanted to cry... haha Anyway i've forgiven you over it.

I had actually hope that we could still be freiend despite all that has happened but it seem impossible as you seem to hate me so much now. However i will still remember you in the times to come. So if we ever meet in the future hope you will still remember me too and that you are doing well in whatever you're doing. I know its partially my fault that you are the way you are right now so i will always hate myself for it. However do take care of yourself. Bye.
I'm trying very hard to keep my mind of you. I know you clearly hate me showing so much concern for you so i promise i will not bother you. And like i promise i've not bother you in anyway. Just hope you are happy now.

And when you go.
Would even turn to say.
I don't love you like i did yesterday.
I just hope that you will someone who will take care of you and never ever hurt you. That is all that i wish for. I don't want to see you get hurt or anything. I know you talked to Lester recently and told him to tell all of us to stop pestering you. I guess all of us includes me. I will not bother you anymore. Like i said all i want is to see you happy. If you hate me so much that it pisses you off then i guess you will never see me ever again. I had actually bought a Rivermaya CD which had the song "You be safe here" I wanted to give it to you today but guess you don't wish to see me. However if you still want the CD just tell me i'll ask Lester or what to pass it to you. I don't listen to them anyway i bought it just for you.

Btw to all my faithful readers i will be moving on to a new site. I've not thought of a name neither have i come up with a skin for it yet don't have the time to do so yet till then just wait. I will continue to blog but somewhere else will personally tell you the url as i would prefer to keep it private. If you want the link just tell me when its up i'll inform you.
My plans of us ever getting back together has long gone with every second that past ever since the day we parted. Ever since 2 weeks ago i knew no matter what i do or say will never bring us back together again. I just want you to know whatever i do now is not that i have the intentions of going back but because the feeling is still here for you. Up till now this is the only thing that has not changed over time. I will not deny the fact that i still do love you. But everything i do now is not because i want to go back. I want you to be happy and free like a bird out of its cage. However like a bird out of its cage it is endangered but hunters all around waiting for a chance to hunt it down. Predators lerking at every cornor preying on you. I worry for you my love, so do take care. I don't care if we're never to be together again. We don't need a reason to love someone. True love can't be explained. Like why God still love us even when we are so sinful. God still loved the people who were not christians and do not intend to be christians. I'm not saying that i'm God but just a rough idea of what i meant.

So till the day my feeling for you are gone i will not stop caring for you.
I have to admit, up till now i still think of her occasionally. I know that i should move on by now by certain things aren't as easy as it seems. People always say if you don't let go you will never find some one better. If it were so easy to let go i would have long ago. Up till now i still have feelings for her even though its really over between us. I miss her.

Till now i'm still trying very hard to let go. I visit her blog and facebook profile less often than before. I've not even talked to her for a very long time. As in a proper conversation. Other than one happy new year wish i sent her. I guess if i have not sent that sms she would not have sent me one. I clearly see that you have moved on. Maybe its better of this way for you.

I do so cos i know you want to move on badly and i know that whenever i see her with another guy in a picture i get jealous. I don't know if there are any but i just avoid going to not know. I want the truth yet i'm afraid of it. And if i'm gonna get jealous and keep bugging her over it this will never end. So i know it will be better that i don't know. However sometimes truth comes to you in many other way. Recently someone told me you were going clubbing. And when i asked she said say it at your FB profile. Even when i avoid going there somehow the facts still come to me. It kind of made me worried.

I know i have been saying that i will close this blog soon as the only reason i wanted to blog was gone. Yeah i will be but not right now as the feeling is still there. I know right now its a very one sided love. Soon it will jus fade out i hope. Then i will officially close this site down. I know there isn't much point in me doing this anymore either as i doubt she still comes here but i just want to do it.

I don't want to deny the fact that i still love her and i miss her badly. I realize that we should always express how we feel rather than to keep it all inside. Although sometimes its hard to say how we feel but one way or another we still have to.

Haha another of my crappy ideas. For anyone who knows me well i mean like real close i hope by now you should know that i really keen of making the band that i'm in really popular. Firstly i love music as long as its good music. I want to be able to be like them. I think it awesome where you can perform and like everyone enjoys it too. So i love music and i wanna be able to spread this love. And i guess the only way is to play good music. Make people love your music. Sadly i think i kinda old for this kind of stuff as in i started out to late and i don't think i've got the talent. So like the old saying goes. If you can't beat it be it however this time i can't be it. So i will add on to the saying. If you can't be it support it. So talking about supporting, there has been this new show on channel 5 called Live and Loaded. Yeah you all should watch it. It showcase all our local talent. Hopefully one day my band will be there. LOL Highly not possible. I'm still gonna enjoy playing my guitar and sticking together with my band mates, friends and family. I will always enjoy jamming with my friends as a hobby maybe take part is some competitions.

I shall talk more about the show. Electrico, The Great Spy Experiment, Lamp post shadow and some other which i cant really remeber their name were featured. Could not remember their name cos i guess they were not as good i guess but still keep up the good work. To be able to be on the show they are already better than me. Lamp post shadows were awesome although they are students jus like me. They are from republic poly. So i hope if they can do it i will one day be able to be like them if not better. For next week's episode Jack and Rai will be featured so if you don't know who they are here is a link to watch their video of their song. Jack and Rai Go check it out i think that they are really great.
Hmmm... I don't think it is as happy as it use to be in the past. I did enjoy going around getting red packets though cos then i would have some money to buy stuff off my wish list. I know that chinese new year is to be all jolly and merry and to forget all things sad but some how it still comes to mind when i do certain stuff. I'm already tring so hard to let you go, getting you out of my mind, but some how everything reminds me about you. Went to the hospital to visit my step-mom's dad and it brought back memories of me waiting for you at the hospital on my birthday. It was my birthday i really could not wait to go out and celebrate with you and i ended up ruining you surprise. haha Now that we are starting to let go i wish you all the best and that you will find someone better.
I'm sorry for woo-ing on feb 2008. I'm sorry for asking you to be my girlfriend. I sorry for making you look bad. I'm sorry for loving you. I'm sorry for once being part of your life. I'm sorry for everything.

I never had any intentions of making you look bad from the start. All i ever wanted was that you will see it cos you never wanted to listen to what i had to say. And every time i tried to tell you, you would get piss. I just didn't know how else to tell you. I guess posting was a bad idea.

After the conversation with you yesterday i feel that you've totally given up. Although i wish there is something to do, there isn't much that i can do now. You've already moved on. Its going to be hard but i'm going to have to try my best. Even if i wait for you at the exact same spot like how i did last time i know it not going to change anything. You're not coming back. You're never coming home.

It was really a miracle that you called me back the other time but i don't think miracles will happen twice. I wish it did. No birthday wish or shooting star is going to help me this time.

Sometimes i wish i had not posted that post and you would not have left me. However i know that someday you still had to know because if i just kept holding it inside of me one day i will just breakdown and you will still know. I didn't want this relationship to be built on lies. I wanted it to be built with true love, trust and understanding for one another. It seems that after you have known how i feel you're going to give all this up it really hurts me but i don't want to stop you. I want you to be happy and do what you want. Like what people always say if you really love her let her go. Its easy to say it but when you truly in love with her its a different story altogether.

I really don't know how you can move on so easily.

This blog will be closing down soon because the only reason that i'm writing this is no longer.
Really tired so i shall not talk much about what happened but instead i will just say what i think is most important. Dear Yoshiko i wish you would just answer my call i've been trying to contact you but you just won't answer any of my calls. I had actually wanted to pop by the pub to see you but i assume that you don't wish to see me so i didn't went down as not to get you pissed. Hope that if this is the end i just want to see you for one last time. Thats all that i ask for and nothing else after that you can do whatever you like and i will not stop you. I miss you. I know you didn't call from yesterday till now so i assume its already over.
I've not given up hope even at this very moment. I know its already at night and you've still yet to call me. To be frank i think that you won't call me but i will still wait for it till the very last second of this night. But if you really do not call me i will take it as you want to move on. Another thing is that if you don't think that you will be happy to be back together then its also best that you move on. If we are to get back, I want us to be the happiest couple together in the whole world and everyone else would be jealous of us. Me and my nonesense again. I don't want to fight with you anymore. Its alright if we disagree in our opinions cos thats what makes us different but at end of the day we must be able to agree as one. Like two hearts beating as one. I really hope that we won't just get back and that we always don't see eye to eye and no one is going to agree with one another. However as long as we are keen in working together hard on it then i believe we can. Whatever your decision i just want you to be happy.

And another thing Baby its also not too late if you call by tomorrow cos i know that at the present moment you might be working. So i know you won't be free or might not have even seen this post. Just don't take too long and i will be waiting for you.

ps, lester i know you said that i really have to move on and not let this drag on but i just want to give this one last chance if we can make it a better one. So hope you will understand.
Was just back from a night run at east coast. Its has been a long time since i last run. Approximately about 5mth i guess. Running at the beach really brought back good memories when i was still with Joe. It reminds me of the time that we stayed over at the beach together. We star gaze together under the dark night sky. I showed you the different constellations. We had even brought over the guitar cos you said you wanted to learn a little. I remembered you even said you wanted to buy a pink guitar pick. In the end you still did not learn anything. Sadly at that point i still wasn't hype about playing guitar as compared to now. So at that time i still knew very few songs only. We had bought a mat and insect repellant from 7eleven. You were allergic to the insect repellant so you ended having rashes after using it. In the night while we were trying to sleep we manage to catch a glimpse of some shooting stars. Both of us made a wish. I wished that we would be together forever while you wished for lots of money. Sadly none of our wish had come true. Now all that i wish is to be able to catch a glimpse of shooting stars again and i will wish that we are back together like all times. I know its a rather impossible wish but still i long for it.
Now that we're done.
I'm so sorry.
Why did I lie ?
I'm so sorry.
I know I hurt you.
I know I hurt you.

I know nothing i say or do is going change anything from now on. It even more quiet now that you're gone. We would always meet everyday when everything was well. It slowly became to few days a week and before you went to work. Soon it became to only before work. Now its gone. Without you here is just so quiet. Although i still love you, i think its time i let go. Remember we used to say maybe this is just the way we will be arguing all the time but we'll always be together. However this time i think you're really tired of it now. So i'm going spare you a thought and i will leave you for your own good. Fly my canary, find your true love. You were never mine to begin with. I should not have held on so tight.

To celebrate the new year i've bought a new pair shoes although i still love my Macbeth shoes alot. Its gonna die soon looking at how worn out it is but i'm still gonna wear it. I might get a new pair of macbeth if i've got the cash or if anyone is willing to buy for me i more than willing to take it. I got a pair of Nike Free Everyday+ actually wanted this shoe long time ago but it was freaking expensive so now that its $118 i can finally afford it. I don't know if its nice to you all but its certainly nice to me.

By the way Yoshiko I'm really sorry i never meant to make you look bad. I just wanted your attention to how i was feeling. Anyway whatever i say now isn't going to make any difference we are still gonna be apart since you already said it yourself that you dont need and want me anymore. Thank you.
Well i guess now everyone who comes to my blog knows that i'm a total screw up. I guess this is my fate to forever be a screw up in relationships. I did not post up all this to make you look like an ass. You only think that all i'm doing is to make you look bad. I did it so that you will truly know how i feel. When i told you face all you did was to get even more angry at me. I really didn't know how else to let you know how i felt. So i guess if this was all a plan to get back at me, well done you got me real bad. I admit it you got me this time. Repeating every wrong that i had done upon you. I guess the biggest loser was me after all. Now i know that i was so dumb enough to have love you so badly even though when it all seems over. I thought that i was able to change everything but i was wrong. I really hate all this fighting. I don't want to fight with you anymore. I shall admit defeat and just back off.

I'm sorry that i was never there for you. I'm sorry for saying mean things to you. I'm sorry for everything. I hope you are happy now that you got back at me.

To every message there is a good and bad view to it but we humans always fail to look at it from the right point of view. You may think that all that i'm doing now is to make you look bad. Well i'm not. I'm doing this cos i really want to let you know how i feel so that things between us could get better. But since you feel that its otherwise then i shall not stop you from thinking that way. I will not change your point of view.

I feel that all this fighting is redundant. I hate to fight, i hate to argue. I hope you've notice it by now. I will only fight to defend what i truly treasure and love. To protect all that you love. You are who i loved so i do not wish to fight anymore.

I wish you all the best.
Frankly i sense that this is really the end for the both of us. I don't feel that you need me or anything any longer. I don't feel that you need me either. In a relationship i feel that both party must be happy there is seriously no point if i'm like the only person who wants this. If you don't want this i will not try to force you anymore. I remember what you told me. The fire you have for me is no longer as strong as it use to be. If it dies out then maybe its time we move on. So if it has died then i i guess i will have to move on. I don't know why all my thoughts are so negetive but its even in my dreams that i see myself losing you. Its huaunting me in every single way. I hate it i really do. Being with you makes me real stress to cos i jus feel that there are just to many competition for you. I always thought that true love is one where by you can feel a sense of comfort. Whenever you need her you know that she will always try their best to be there for you. She will be able to ease your every doubts and fear. But somehow when i'm with you all i have is fear from losing you. So is this then still true love that we speak of?
I don't know if this would be appropriate but i feel that i do not wish to keep this inside me any longer. Firstly joe, you should how much you mean to me. I know that you work at a pub and yeah i'm now fine with it. But there are still some things i think i cant close my eyes on. The fact that you said you call every guy that comes to your pub honey. You know the day i took your phone and i saw you call some other guy honey it really devastated me. When i asked you, you said you did it to all the guys. Well that didn't help by making it look like a "normal thing to do". Well it only made me feel worst. So you're calling every honey so what am I ? Just like any other guy? Well you know how bad that made me feel. How would you like if i called every other gal honey? Secondly the other time about the guy that asked you that if you liked him. Well i've been thinking. You said you didn't want to say no cos it would make things between you and him awkward. Well why not you compare me feeling hurt and you feeling awkward. Which is worst ? If its really awkward you could just avoid him. Unless you're saying you don't wish to avoid him.

Yeah i hope you know how i feel now well if you don't wish to know i won't force you either. Everything happens for a reason. I know you're not a single bit worried if i were to leave you. You look hotter and probably even slimmer than before. Any guy would want to take you. I'm not saying all this to get you pissed i'm just saying this so that you will know how i feel.

So i hope to receive your call by next week with what you think. You know i would always want to go back with you but well a relationship is not a one person thing. It requires that both side are happy with each other. If you're not happy well there isn't any reason for me to hold you anymore. I've learnt that sometimes letting go of things you really love is part of life. Its inevitable we can't run away from it. If i don't receive your call i will take it as its over. And even if the reason was because you didn't see this post then i guess its also over. Cos you once said you read my blog everyday to know whats going on in my life. It was a sign that you cared. So if you didn't read by next week it also comes to show that you don't care.

Whatever your decision is i just hope that you won't regret. I don't want you to regret being with or leaving me. So think carefully.
It was really nice of you. After yesterday you never reply any of my sms. You didn't even called me once. I waited but you never called. Not even before you left for work or during your break at work. Thanks a lot it really shows how much you care. I'm really sorry if either this post of the previous offended you but if i'm wrong please correct me.
Hey babe i think i'm really tired of keeping this in me any longer. Firstly some how the way we are now just doesn't seem to be like how it use to be. I bet you already notice the way i was when we met up today. I'm feeling really lost right now. I seriously don't know if you want me back or not. I keep getting the feeling that you are like on and off. I really don't know what you want anymore. I also get the feeling that everything just isn't the way it use to be in the past. Maybe you have changed or maybe its me. I don't know. Right now this is how i feel. Its like you lost something really precious and you really want it back. When you finally get it back its all destroyed. You try your best to piece it back together like how it use to be but no matter how hard you try it just doesn't feel the same anymore. I really long for the past but it doesn't seem like its ever coming back. Maybe you should spent a week to consider if you really want me back. Its alright if you don't i won't blame you its my fault that we have come where we are right now. I really don't know if we can ever go back like how we use to be. As happy as ever but without the bad me. This dream of mine really seems so illusive.

Secondly, I just keep getting the feeling that you really want to hide our relationship status from everyone. Away from the people you know at the pub. You don't even want to put your status as dating me. Well let me tell you how i feel. I feel like crap ok so i hope you are happy. Are you afraid that if you tell people you are seeing someone already all those guys won't talk to you anymore? Yeah i have to agree the attention you're getting now should be feeling really good. I really hate it too when you have to hide from me when you talk to some other guy that likes you. I hope you know that too.

Another thing is that i really don't like you to smoke. I never stopped you from smoking. I hope that its good enough. You should know that i don't like people to smoke in front of me. If you really wanted you could at least say let me go smoke then you go one corner to smoke. I won't stop you. Instead you smoke in front of me. It kind of hurt me a little when you said you just didn't want to meet me. Maybe if i had a car to send you to work it might be different. Sadly i don't.

I'm sorry if i'm to direct but i just wish to keep this inside me any longer. Its really tiring. I seriously don't know if this is your way to keep me closer or to cherish you even more but some how i think it isn't working instead its making it worst. I think we should really take this week off where you can really go spent some time thinking about every thing. I don't want to make it as if its so hard to be together. If its really so hard then if we still continue i guess we are just forcing it. I've somehow came to see that maybe if it really doesn't work there is really no point that i try anymore. And everybody please leep your comments to yourself thank you.
Haha... Nope its not Joe's birthday, its our birthday. Last time every 14th of feb whenever joe asked me if i remember what day was it i would always crap with her pretending that i don't. I would then say its her birthday. It kind of funny but i guess that joke some how finally back fired at me. Today when i called her wanting to remind her about it she told me happy birthday. This was how the conversation went
Me: Baby you free ?
Joe: yeah can say so.
Me: I want to tell you something.
Joe: What ?
Me: err...
Joe: Happy Birthday.
Me: Haiz ... nvm ( at this point of time i still did not realize it i thought you really could not be bothered.)
I had only realize it when you told me you last time always happy birthday. I'm really glad you remember how i use to crap with you. I Really love you.
When i mean soon its real soon like about 5 more weeks to go. That is less than 2 month away. Really got to start preparing if i don't want to end up like last semester. It is going to be difficult but i really got to start so from today onwards i will try to play less like only spend 2-3hrs at most playing the rest would go to studying and if i'm spending time with joe there would not be any play time for the day.

Right now everything ain't going very well for me. My dad jus found out that Yoshiko quitted school and started working at the pub full time. Before any of you make any comments i would like to tell you why. Firstly she no longer has any interest for nursing so she is quitting not because she doesn't want to study anymore but because she wants have a change in course. Secondly she is working full time at the pub now because she need the money to pay off her bond that she broke. Although i don't really like her working at the pub because i feel that a pub isn't really a safe enviroment for any girl to work at i would still have to support her no matter what. She really need the money to pay off the bond. Just hope she knows how to take care of her self while at work. The last thing i would ever want is that something bad happen to her. She means the world to me and if anything would ever happen to her it will hurt me badly. So because of all this my dad no longer approves of our relationship. I'm not going to back out from this relationship because i really love her. So what if she doesn't go to tourism and stops studying i don't care. At most when we ever get married i would be the sole bread winner of the house. And so what if she works in the pub now. I know that she loves me so she is not going to do anything that will hurt my feeling towards her. So i'm still sticking with her no matter what even if it means getting kick out of home.

Nothing in the world could ever replace her.
It always nice to know that you are being missed when you are away for a short period of time. Wenny and Mimi went over to Thailand for holiday. I guess i don't have to elaborate any further and yes Joe is missing them really badly. She started crying when she reached my place because she misses them a lot. To know that you are being missed lets you know that the people back home needs you and wants you back. We all want to feel wanted by someone. No one want to be unwanted. Like when choosing players for a team, none of the player wants to be choosen last. It only shows that you are the least wanted on either team. I wonder if anyone will miss me so badly till they cry when i'm gone. Not that i will be gone anytime soon but just a thought in my mind. But seriously you never know. Maybe i would just die the very next moment. Or maybe while taking my driving lessons i get into a serious accident and i never made it out. No one knows what the future has install but we can always plan our future and try make it the way we want it to be. Cheer up my princess, everything is going to be alright. They will be back home soon so don't worry.
Feelings get bottled up waiting to be exploded. I guess today just isn't a good day for it. Will there be another day i don't know.

I've been feeling very paranoid over some stuff lately. Could not really sleep well for the past few night. Kept having nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night. Even after i wake up it doesn't stop right there, it continues even after i go back to sleep. I really don't know if i will go crazy but i certainly feel that i need some help. I might need to see a doctor to seek professional help. Seriously its not that i don't trust her but because with a girl like her as your girlfriend you should get worried. She is the best girl in the world. You better get worried cos every guy would want a girl like her. She is the nicest person in the world. If you have a girlfriend like her you better treasure and take care of her don't be like me and regret. A girl like her comes once in a million lifetime. So i guess this is my 1 millionth life time already. When i die I've got to die another 1 million times before i meet another girl like her again. Without you i really don't know what would be of me now. I love you for everything you've done for me. You never fail to make me smile. Thank you.
To everything in life as long as we put our heart to it, no matter what, after some time there will be progress. The 2 current significant events i think is to be able to woo joe's heart back and improvement in the band. I'm really glad I did not give up in the early stages. I was so pessimistic
about the out come that i did not have much motivation in me to carry on. I had thought that all my actions were beyond redemption. I guess i was wrong. Thanks all you guys who supported me through this rough times. We had lots of fun drinking and drinking nothing else but drinking. Just joking but drinking was definitely one of it. The next event i would like to talk about is our jamming standards. I strongly feel that we've come a long way since the very first time. I still remember that the first time that we wanted to jam was a random idea. We all just pick up our own instruments and started jamming to Swing Swing. It was rather amazing as we had never ever jam before and the results were quite good. Ever since then we kept jamming till now. Lets all just keep this up. I know its a little too late for us to ever reach fame status but at least lets improve till a standard where we can have lots of fun. Now we are able to play teddy picker another great song i feel.
Can we climb this mountain i don't.
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow.
Lets take it easy, easy now, watch it go. (killers-when you were young)
We will climb this mountain together as a band step by step and i know one day we will reach there.

Hey baby i was really glad that i was able to see you for a very short while yesterday. I guess i really miss you so badly that i had to take a glimpse of you. Although it was a very short while i would have to say its better than nothing. You've got me so addicted to you.

Sorry didn't had the time to blog yesterday cos i was really tired.
I'm really missing you really badly. Every second spent without you is spent missing you. I really wish God had made the world where there would be like 25hrs a day. This way i could meet you everyday with the extra hour. Loving you so much is becoming a little of a bad thing cos i'm so stuck to you that without you my world feels so empty. However this does not mean i will love you less. My love for you will always be the same if not more each day. Can't wait till the next day i can be with you again. I really enjoy every moment spent with you. Love you
Life is full of worries, it is never ending. It just keeps coming one after another. For my case even after Joe and me are back together, my initial worries that she might have found some other guy and will never come back to me changed into she met a new guy and wants to leave me for him. LOL I seriously don't know why my mind keeps coming up with all these thoughts. Its really irritating. However it is not all that bad because it also shows that i really love her and that i don't want to lose her thus resulting in the way i feel now. Baby i hope you will not get piss at me for being so paranoid at every little thing. I just hope that maybe you would help me feel less paranoid. Love you.

Finally after 47 days you truly accept me back. I'm glad that i never give up cos I know I will regret now that I know you actually had the intention of getting back together again. I will hate myself for eternity knowing I gave up when I actually had the chance to be with the greatest girl in the world. To me she is just the perfect girl. I see everything in her that not everyone does. It was way earlier than i had expected. I thought for me to make amendments for the 7mths would be longer than 47days but I'm very happy you did too. You are the very first girl that i wasn't able to let go of. You got me hooked onto you for life. No one has ever meant so much to me except you. I never knew you were my everything till the day you left. Now that you're back I promise you that I will never let you down. Never will you ever have to shed another tear of sadness again when I'm with you. I will try my best to make everyday a sunny day for you. Never will I ever hurt you again. You are the love of my life and no one else can make me love them as much as I love you. Don't give up on me and I will always be by your side no matter what. Love you always.
Baby you just made my day a wonderful day. It has really been a long time since you told me you love me. You really made my day just by saying Love You. I love you too. muahahaha I'm just so in love with you.
This is really totally unexpected. Finally when i have given up all hope to get you back by my side you called me back. I wanted to give up as i felt that since you wanted me to give up so badly i guess it was better i just give up since it was what you wanted and i no longer wanted to be of a burden to you. It was really a lot for me to finally give up all hope. Just as i was about to move on to my new life which i dread to move on to without you, you suddenly called. You asked if i would like to have breakfast with you. At first i thought all this was too good to be true so i didn't want to go but somehow i just could not resist meeting you. It has been a long tome since you treated me so nice. I'm really sorry for making you cry this afternoon. Its was all just a misunderstanding and i acted that way because i was very scared of losing you again. I want you to know that you are my everything and everything about me was about you. I really hope it is the same for you as it is for me. I promise you that from now on i will not take you for granted and hope you will not take me for granted either. I guess miracles do happen. I also hope that this is not just a dream if it is i don't want to wake up from this dream. I want to sleep forever and live in this dream of mind cos i never want to leave you. You are the first girl that has me so in love with you before. I LOVE YOU.

I guess i have lost the war. I've lost everything that was dearest to me. I've lost you. Probably you right i should give up. You never had the intention of getting back together from the very start. I thought that maybe one day you might have a change of heart. Like you told me last time, "I'm not going to give up because i know one day you will change". I guess i was wrong but then again you still might be right. You did change, you changed into a totally new person soon to forget all our past. You've moved on from the person you used to be. Ever since that day i have been waiting the very exact spot you left. Days of waiting soon became a month. Time waits for no man. You've moved on a long time ago and i guess you are never coming back. So it also about time i have to move on too although i really wish to stay. It would be like waiting for a dead person to come back but this time it the old you that has died. A dead person once dead will forever be dead. I can cry for years over the death of you old self but its never coming back. I also believe if we ever get back together i will never be able to see the same happy smile you had while we were together like in the picture above. I guess this is what they meant by good things only come once, once missed forever gone. Well if its your way of making me appreciate you better i guess you've failed to do so but if its cos you wanted me to give up, i guess you certainly did a very good job. I will try my very best to let go of this hope a had in my two hands gripping it tightly not letting it go. Before i bid you my final good bye i want you to know that you were the best girl up till no and it will really be difficult for me to let you go but i will try my best. All those memories we had will always be in my heart. I still love you a lot but i hope this feeling of my will slowly fade away. Hope you are happy now.
Had a really wonderful weekend this week. Like to every end there is a new beginning. So the end of my week began with a great session of jamming with Andee, Alvin and NigelL. We played Teddy Picker by Arctic Monkeys. Great song with a very catchy beat to it. And if you haven't heard it before you should. I would not say it was a perfect run through cos i always forget the lyric once in a while but i have to say it was a very fun one. I really enjoyed myself. After that we went to catch a movie at leisure park. We watched Bedtime Stories. Was a meaningful movie too. To me the lesson learnt from the movie was that reality is harsh and always will be. It always brings us down but as writer of our own stories we will try to make it a story with a wonderful ending. O ya and Alvin lost his one of his drum sticks. So we ended our day after the movie and all headed home. Next day i didn't really did much except going for driving lessons was really great. For once i was more relax when driving i can change gear and start off smoothly too. Had to lessons in one day was really tiring but fun. Drove all the way to TP. After the lessons i just went home and sleep all the way till the next day which is today. Was really tired. Went for driving again at 8.30am this morning. And for the first time an instructor praised me. He said for the number of lessons i have attended, i was really good as i was able to drive smoothly and know when to apply engine break when ever required rather than always using the break pedal. Woooh felt really good. I would consider this week a really wonderful week however if could be better if i could spent more time with her. Its ok if she isn't free or that she is too tired to go out. Its alright to me. I don't really expect much from her anymore. I mean like i took all her kind thought and actions for granted last time so i guess i don't deserve any from her now. So i'm not really bothered by it. Love you my dearest.
Went out with Alvin, Andee and NigelL for new year's eve. We went around shopping for Nigel's stuff. Next we went for a movie at suntec. Watched Yes Man. Was a really nice show with lots of meaning. It was a meaningful showed portrayed through romance and comedy. It really true that if you always say no to everything you are actually saying no to life therefore equates to not living. We should say yes whenever opportunities arises for us but this doesn't mean that we have to say yes to everything. We should only say yes because we want to and when its a right thing to do. I really wish i could be like Jim Carey's character in the movie. A person who is really fun to be with and never boring. If only i could be like that i would be able to make you smile everyday that we are together. Your smile is the greatest reward you can ever give me because it makes me happy too. After that we went to NigelY's house to accompany him for countdown. Like Christmas it wasn't any different. Just a simple gathering of friends. This time a little less grand. Nigel Yap just undergo some operation on his right foot so he is unable to go out. So he has asked us to go over to his place to count down with him. There were 4 of us in total. NigelY, Andee, Alvin and me. I know that i should not be saying this but i have to admit that it was very boring. I had actually wanted to stay at home i sleep away my new year celebrations. Especially because i was not able to celebrate with her. I don't know if she feels the same way but i have to definitely say i feel that we are really starting to drift apart because we hardly spent time together. The amount of time spent with one another gets less as the weeks goes on. I don't blame you my love i know that you're tired after work so you really need your rest so i won't pester you to go out. I've also stopped asking you out unless you told me you were free. So before i end this post i would like to wish all of you happy new year.
Its only another 24hrs and 7mins till next year. That is pretty soon. Time flies when you are having fun. My entire year was a fun ever since the first day I met her. She came into my life and made a great change to it. Now without her everything is just passing me so slowly. I hope the with the near year arriving it brings a long new hope for me. Hope I will carry out what I've written in my resolution for this near year rather than just making empty promises. I miss you my dear Yoshiko.
I know I've not really been the best I could have been so I'm really trying make changes to myself. For today I tried to be a better son. I'm always so busy with all my stuff that i hardly ever eat with my dad. So today I decide that its time maybe we have a proper meal together. I gave him a call and we went to eat at Aston's the one close to my place. For some reason the food there was great better than all the other Aston's I've been to. I guess its because that is sort of the main branch which started out first. The meal was great should have it more often but my dad really need to learn how to dress up to the occasion. He always dress very sloppy. Really need to change for the better and become a better person. School will be starting tomorrow kinda dread school nowadays cos everything is like getting more boring as time goes on. Right now the only few things i look forward in life is to complete my studies and find a decent job in the future, spend time with Joe and hang out with gang. I really need to get better grades if I want to get into a local university. I don't wish to go overseas cos I know I cant bear to leave the one most dear to me alone in Singapore. I'm afraid that I might lose her if I do so. People always say that if its true love it will stand the test of time and distance but i feel that if a pair is so far apart for a long time slowly but surely will they will drift apart. Eventually leading to a break up. I don't want that to happen to us. So I really need to study hard to get to a local university.
Have you ever ran in a competition before and keep running but the finishing line just doesn't seem to be anywhere near? Your mind is telling you to go on but your body is just too weak to continue. You really want to push yourself but you just can't. I feel this way right now. I signed myself up for the race to win back Yoshiko's heart. I don't want to give up in this race because I know i can't give her up. I don't know if my body can go on any longer like this. I'm trying my best to win the race but i'm afraid my body will fail me. I don't want to lose this race. The finishing line may not be near but i know i will reach it if i really put my heart to it. So baby please be at the finishing line for me. I may be slow but please wait for me. I'm also very thankful for all the friends that i have that support me through the race. You guys are the best in the world.

It New year soon too and i've sort of came up with my new year's resolution. With 10 things to don in my list.
1. Treat Yoshiko better.
2. Learn how to control my temper. (Part of treating Yoshiko better)
3. Put in more effort in studies.
4. Improve on my guitar skills.
5. Try to put on more weight. (i'm way to small size alr)
6. Read more books.
7. Learn how to cook more stuff.
8. Exercise to keep fit. (Going NS soon)
9. Tidy up my room.
10. Learn how to save money.

So whats yours ?
Baby I know I once told you that in life if you keep trying to make something happen and it just doesn't no matter how hard you try you should just give up. So I was thinking to myself how do I know if i should give up or not to. Where should the line be drawn? When should i give up? Then it suddenly came to me. Why can't it be the other way? If my love for you is so great that no matter how much you try to push me away I just won't give up then maybe you should stop trying to push me away. So with that in mind I will not give up my chase for you unless you tell me that its time that i should stop trying. I really hope that you will one day stop trying to push me away and accept me but i don't know if that is still called love. I hope it is cos i will always love you.

O yeah another thing really never expected i had more visitors to my blog than the usual people till Lester told me. So thanks for coming to my blog Leon and Sean. haha at least now i know its being visited by more people. haha
Christmas is over and all I have to say is that it has been a very boring Christmas this year. No Christmas dinner with my family nothing. Not even a single gift from them. Its super boring. I think this is the worst Christmas ever in my entire life. Maybe it was fun just a little when we went to Lester's house to count down and being able to meet up with Yoshiko before she goes to work. Other than that everything else was boring. i mean i would rather not have Christmas if it was so boring. I bet if Yoshiko was able to spent time with me it wouldn't be the most boring Christmas but sadly she has to work. Life just sucks without you by my side. I know you were there for me through it all. There for me when i fall. There for me to give me everything but i never knew how to cherish you. Now that i've lost you i truly know how much you mean to me and i really need you more than ever. I've learnt my lesson. I will cherish you more than ever from now on. I know that your scared to fall in love with me again but please give me a chance and i will change your fears into trust. I promise you i will not let you down ever again. Not ever till the day i die i will keep my words to take care of you and love you unconditionally. I will supprot all your decisions even if i don't like it. Support you through it all. I really love you so give me a chance when you are ready. Love you always.
I hate myself because i messed everything up.
Hey baby i know you're really busy with work this week but its Christmas soon so i really hope I can meet up with you. Just for 5minutes of your time before you go to work or something. Either Christmas eve or Christmas just have it before the 26th. I would just like to pass you a small gift i got you. If you see this post just give me a call to tell me when you would like to meet up. Or if you like i could just drop by your work place to pass it to you on Christmas itself. You just decide and tell me. We seem so apart. You hardly call or sms me anymore. I want to get closer to you. Its been 33days i don't know if i've made any progress or am I even further from where i started. I don't know. PS I LOVE YOU.
Went over to stay at Andee's place yesterday. Was feeling rather down so i didn't know what to do or go to so i just decided to go there to stay over. Had a nightmare too last night. It was really bad. Its getting to me real bad. From the inside out. I just not able to enjoy life the way i use to anymore. Everything seems so different. Went out with Ms Foo, Andee and Alvin today. Don't have any mood to write happen. Not because it was bad but i jus don't have the mood to.
Had a rather crazy night so I didn't have the time to blog about what happened yesterday night. It was Nigel's birthday so as usual on everyone's birthday we would drink to celebrate the occasion. This time we drank more than what we usually did. Usually for me because I'm not really a drinker, so when I mix my drinks I only 10% alcohol and 90% mixer. However this time I poured about twice of what I would usually do. I guess I wasn't the only one who was in the mood for celebration. All of us were. We all drank up like mad. Seriously it was the most that I've ever drank, as in not the number of cups but the amount of alcohol. We were all really high from the drinking. We were playing this game where you were not allowed to say certain words and do certain action so it was really kinda hard to talk. When you're high from drinking try to think what you want to say isn't as easy as it seems. HAHA. After the whole thing I had to go home because Yoshiko was coming over in the morning right after her work. The moment I stood up and wanted to left I felt this sudden urge to puke. So I immediately ran to to the toilet and puke. I puke my entire dinner including part of my lunch that was yet to be digested. When i came out from the toilet I saw Nigel started to fight with Alvin. LOL. I know this isn't something to laugh about but because the fight was rather comical too. But it ended with Alvin bleeding and Nigel really remorseful. So after that I left, Andee accompanied me as he felt it was unsafe for me to cross the road myself looking at the state I was in. So he waited for bus with me. Manage to catch the last bus. While waiting for bus I puked again. It totally felt like crap. When the bus finally came I boarded and went home. Upon alighting the bus I began to puke again. When i finally reached home which was about 12.40am I just laid on the floor of my room till about 2.40am. That's when I began to feel better again so I went to take a bath and waited for Yoshiko to come over. So that is all that happen yesterday. It was fun although I totally felt like crap.
Hey Guys if I do not join you all fro drinking tomorrow I'm really sorry. Its because I'm really tired. I got the day mixed up. I waited for Yoshiko to come over till now as you can tell from the time of the post. Baby I'm really sorry I got the time wrong please don't get mad at me. I really love you goodnight and sweet dreams. Hope to see you tomorrow then babe.
Baby I know I've always been trying to tell you not to club and stuff but I thought of it after listening to the song Spotlight by Jennifer Hudson. As long as its true love and I treat you right no matter how many new guys you meet you will stay. So I'm going to let you do anything you wish not because i don't care anymore but because I trust you. I believe you won't do anything that will hurt yourself or me. I'm really glad I met you in this life. You should go listen to the song too maybe then you know what I mean. ... haha


I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Thanks for spending time with me today again. Really appreciate it a lot. Today we went to watch 2 movies. Bolt 3D and Nick and Norah's Infinite playlist. They were both great show. Although I've already watched Bolt 3D I'm watching it the second time to accompany Yoshiko watch. Come to think of it its the first time that I've actually watched the same show twice in a cinema. I usually won't cos I think that it will be a waste of money. I guess this is the power of love, it makes you do anything. Nick and Norah's Infinite playlist had a nice storyline to it. Its about this guy who just broke up with this girl and could not let go and this other girl who some how fell in love with him. Its a must watch show. To me it just as good as Juno love both movies. The best thing was that i could watch it with Yoshiko today. Recently I've also been thinking. In the past Yoshiko had been trying very hard to like get my attention and to truly win my heart. She never gave up. I remember she would say "I will not give up because I know one day you will really love me." I did love her but I guess I didn't love her with all my heart. She wanted me to love her whole heartedly. She never gave up and that day did come but sadly when that day came to pass, I had made situation between us so bad that she totally gave up on me. I'm so sorry baby I wish i had never done those things. Now that she has sort of given up its my turn to try get our relationship back up and going. I will never give up because you never gave up on me till the very last moment. I know that if i continue to try, one day I will win your heart back. I know that day will come but i don't know when just hope its soon. Another thing is that after watching Nick and Norah's Infinite playlist I also thought of some stuff. Like i know during the times that we were together we didn't really work out but we kept trying. We didn't want to let go and I sort of thought of the reason why i didn't want to let go. It is because the feelings I get when I'm with you is special. Its different from all the other girlfriends I had. Its something that I would like to have for the rest of my life. Its something that I can only get when I'm with you. So please don't leave me. Today we bought a handphone pouch together too. The two pouch had a picture that was connected. Mine was a guy playing a guitar and Yoshiko's is the one with a girl, who loves the guy, listening to the guy play the guitar. Really enjoyed the time spent with you. I just love every moment of it. ... haha
I want to hold you hands
Now every single day of my life, I only look forward to a few things. Firstly it a call from Yoshiko at around 6-7am in the morning. From then till like noon or late noon it would start to get really boring because she would be sleeping and I'm home all alone with nothing to do. So the next thing I look forward is to hang out with my friends if any of them are free because it kind of helps me keep my mind of most of the sad stuff and even if I'm sad at least I have someone to talk to. Then I would also look forward to her call again at about 5-6pm before she goes to work. And because she seems very busy at work she doesn't reply any of my sms so all i do is wait for her call again at about 10pm but today she didn't call. I wonder why? Must be really busy today. I really miss having her by my side. Everyday is the same thing over and over again. Wish I could spend more time with her but I know she is busy with work so I won't pester her to meet me and stuff everyday. So usually what I do during morning till late afternoon is that I will think of stuff to make Yoshiko happy. So for today because on the 14th which was our 10th month supposedly but cos we broke up i don't think its considered 10th month anymore. Even so we still met up. I know on that day the song I played for you was not very good so during most of the lonely mornings I spent alone i use the time to perfect the song for you. I don't know if its good enough for you but i did try my best so hope you like it. So here is the song I recorded. I know it still sucks a little so any of you listening to it please don't laugh at me.


First of all Andee I'm sorry if like now a days I don't seem to be listening to what you are saying. I'm just thinking about stuff. I really have a lot on my mind at the moment. So sometimes you would have to repeat a few times before i really hear it.
I thinking of everything. Everything that I've done, everything that has happen, everything that might happen in the future to come, everything that I could do and should not do. In short I'm thinking about everything. Thinking about the past makes me happy whenever I think of the good times we had. Nowadays whenever I feel down and feel like giving up because it seems like everything I do isn't working I would think about the good times to keep me going on. It fuels my love for you. Thinking about it is not truly happy either because every single time I think about the things I've done, it make me regret. Remember the picture of the book above ? Its the book that we made to keep record of all the things we had done together. I manage to find it together with my other book. Hope you still remember the secret language we had "HNS". ... haha Browsing every single page of it makes me really happy. I know we quarrelled a lot while we were together but even when we were quarrelling I still love you as much as always. I know I always say a lot of mean things when we quarrelled. I really wish I could take back all those mean things I said. Can't wait for my birthday coming soon next year so I can wish for it to come true. I know its rather impossible but i'm still going to wish for it because its what i really want. I know i was really petty last time. You would never ever get angry at me for more than 10mins whereas for me i could get angry for the whole day. LOL I remembered once you cried cos i was angry and you wanted to make me cool down. It was at your house. I still remember it clearly. You never gave up on me, you would try everything to make me happy when i was angry. I love you for that. I remember we use to love to eat nuggets with sweet chilli but sadly they dont have sweet chilli anymore. We use to meet up everyday without fail. We met up so much that i even got scolded from my dad and i would always lie to you that my dad was scolding me for something eles so that you won't stop meeting me. I love meeting you everyday. Lester would always purposely ask me in front of you, "Buay sian ar ? everyday meet joe"( not bored ? everyday meet joe). I was never bored with you. Not a single moment. I also remember once I was jealous because you talk a lot with Lester. Haha I remember the pillow you gave me. You would spray a little of your perfume on it cos you knew I like the smell of it because it reminds me of you. I know now the pillow is gone nowhere to be found but I still remember it. I know I was the one who threw away the pillow. It will always remain in my heart. Do you still remember once you got really upset and you said that we should breakup because you were not good enough for me? It was outside Lido. Then I told you if you were not good enough for me and i didn't love you I would have left you long ago. The truth is I think I'm not good enough for you either. I always felt that i was not good enough for you and that i was a burden to you. Glad that you didn't feel that way. I really miss all those good times. Do you miss them? Thinking about the past isn't going to get me anywhere unless I do something about it now. So I've also been thinking of what i could do to make everything as good as the past. I try to think of surprises to make you happy. To see you happy is my greatest joy. Even if you said you wanted to leave me for another guy as long as I know that your happy I will be happy for you even if it really hurts me deep inside. I'm trying very hard to think of ways to make you happy but I'm really afraid I'm not good enough to make you happy. I know everything that I do for you now I'm trying my very best, so all I can do is to hope that it makes you happy. I also don't know what the future has installed for me. The only thing I can do is to think. Think of all the possibilities. However some of this thoughts make me very sad. Like what if I fail to win your heart back? How am I going to carry on without you? I really don't know. So many things on my mind. All I can say now is that do you remember? Becaues i do.
Went out with a Andee, Alvin and Nigel today. We went around town to look for nice clothes. I was the only one who bought something. I bought a pair of jeans from Levi's for 90bucks traded my old stussy jeans for 50bucks off. So that means it was 140bucks initially. Had lots of fun with them. Although my mind kept on drifting into thoughts about everything i still had lots of fun.
Do you remember?


Very first picture together.
All these while the person who loved me the most and gave me her all was right in front of me. She was there every time I needed her. I'm really glad God has let me met Yoshiko. Up till now, I still think that she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. However during the times we were together I was blinded by i don't know what. I took you for granted but you were still there for me no matter what. But i guess we all are human and we have our limit. I made you go over your limit and you left me. Now I'm trying my very best to find my place with you once again. No matter what it take because i know a girl like you is never to come by ever again. You are unique. No one in this world can replace you cos no one is able to be like you. So I really want you to know that you are really special to me.
I know its has only been 23 days of trying to woo you back and I've already asked you to be my girlfriend again. I'm really sorry for asking. I know i should not rush you, but I'm really eager to be with you again. I know 23days of woo-ing you back isn't going to amend the 7 months. It takes more than that. I'm so sorry. Although you said that you're not ready yet I'm still not going to give up yet cos i know i can't. I'm really thankful that you were willing to spend the time with me today. Even though we didn't go out as suppose I'm still glad you came down to meet me. You are really the best indeed. I'm hanging on to this relationship at all cost. Love you always. By the way I'm going to post old pictures of us together to remind myself of all the good times we had when we were still together.

Its the 14th of the month once again. Every 14th of the month used to be the day I would celebrate with Yoshiko our monthly anniversary. This month is slightly different because I screwed up everything. This is a day of the month I will never forget for my entire life. 14th is the first day we got together. It has always been in my heart. I know I've always try not to show like I care about it but the fact is I really do. Till now I still remember how I asked you to be my girlfriend. As you all can see the picture tells it all. I know you all must be thinking I did it in a really dumb way but i guess its was the best i could come out with. I know I've done a lot of things that have let you down and stuff, I've broken all my promises that I made to you but now that you are willing to give me another chance I will promise you I'm no longer the monster I use to be. I'm back to the sweet guy that you fell for in the very beginning. I will not go back to my old self because i don't want to lose you ever again. Thank you for meeting me tomorrow. I love you.
O and one more thing to my other readers i won't be able to update about Lester's birthday till Lester is back because all the pictures are still with him. He is currently in Malaysia so have wait till he gets back.

About Me

Dalton Lim Jun Jie
msn: kuk00_dal@hotmail.com
26/02/1990
19 as of the year 2009
Haig Boys' pri 1997-2000
Tanjong katong pri 2001-2002
Deyi sec 2003-2006
Singapore Poly 2007-2010
Loves:
Driving
Audi cars
chocolate anything chocolate
My Band mates
Soccer buddies
FCUK clothes
music
my guitar
my laptop
all my frens
hates:
to eat brinjal
Fears:
Failure
Rejection
Fav bands:
Bullet for My Valentine
Artic Monkeys
Wishlist:
DSLR camera
new electric guitar
acoustic guitar too
Hair dryer
more clothes
Grow taller (no one can grant this)
New sling bag (gucci messenger bag)